Barbara Kay

Heroism -- Canadian Style

 

Je me concentre sur ma carrière

même quelque chose d'aussi chiant et inutile que mon boulot est préférable à sortir avec toi

 

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
 

On roule comme des patates

La politesse

http://www.sttellla.be/

Four Horses

A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name.

He replied, "She called Four Horses".. 

The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife.

What does it mean?"

The Old Indian answered, "It old Indian Name. It mean…

NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!"

 

CANADIAN.... Eh !

So, What Do We  Canadians Have To Be Proud Of ?

1. Smarties

2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crispà

3. The size of our footballs fields, one less down, and bigger balls.

4. Baseball is Canadian - First game June 4, 1838 -     Ingersoll   ,   ON

5. Lacrosse is Canadian

6. Hockey is Canadian

7. Basketball is Canadian

8. Apple pie is Canadian

9. Mr. Dress-up beats Mr. Rogers

10. Tim Horton's beats Dunkin' Donuts

11. In the war of 1812, started by America , Canadians pushed  the Americans back past their White House. Then we burned it, and most of Washington .. We got bored because they ran away. Then, we came home and partied........ Go figure.

12.  Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.

13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone, anywhere. EVER. (We got clobbered in the odd battle but prevailed in ALL the wars)

14. Our civil war was fought in a bar and lasted a little over an hour.  

15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, he slept in and missed the whole thing. He showed up just in time to get caught.

16. A Canadian invented Standard Time.

17. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the world's oldest company.

18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes. (That's more information than I need!)

19. We know what to do with  the parts of a buffalo.

20. We don't marry our kin-folk.

21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, Velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis and the telephone. Also short wave radios that save countless lives each year.

22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.

23. A Canadian invented Superman.

24. We have coloured money.

 25. Our beer advertisements kick ass {Incidently...so does our beer} 

                               BUT MOST IMPORTANT !
 
The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on.  

 OOOoohhhhh....   Canada   !!

 Oh yeah... And our elections only take one day.

 

 

HE'S MY BROTHER!

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"

"Eight," the boy replied.

The man continued, "do you know what these are used for?"

The boy replied, "not exactly, but they aren't for me.  They're for him.  He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either."

 

Chienne à donner

Dog  For  Sale

Free to good home. Excellent guard dog. Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore, as there are no more drug pushers, thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat.

Most of them knew him as 'Holy Shit.'

 

Elle n'avait pas prévu se faire prendre

Elle aurait empoisonné sa collègue de travail